


Nothing You Can Do

by miyani



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Brotherly Love, Flashbacks, Gen, Hospitals, In Another Life References, Mental Breakdown, Miya Osamu is a Good Brother, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:48:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27366823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miyani/pseuds/miyani
Summary: Moving on and coming to terms with things were never easy for Osamu.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou & Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Kita Shinsuke & Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu & Ojiro Aran, Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu & Suna Rintarou, Miya Osamu & Miya Atsumu & Sakusa Kiyoomi
Kudos: 62





	1. Love

**Author's Note:**

> hi yes another story bc imma be real w/ u chief i got frustrated trying to work on my existing ones. also i’m just a sucker for miya twin angst >:3
> 
> HOWEVER. however. i am going to update them soon so if ur an avid reader don't worry :>
> 
> ANYWAYS before i start UHHHH ✨ this is lowkey inspired by in another life and there will likely be a few references to it✨

_“I’m sorry. It doesn’t seem like you’re fit to play sports.”_

_“What?”_

_The doctor points to his screen, tracing his finger along Atsumu’s lung. “See this? We don’t know what it is yet, and we wanna keep an eye on it. Unfortunately, that means no sports for you, especially something as intensive as volleyball.”_

_Osamu looks over at his twin, clenching his fist as he watches the tears form in his eyes. “It's not fair.” Their mother lifts him up, holding him close to her chest as his body begins to shake. “Is there anything we can do?”_

_“I’m afraid not. Just bring him back twice a month.” Osamu can’t remember any of the conversation after that. All he can see when he thinks back on it is Atsumu sobbing in their mother’s arms._

He’s ripped out of his thoughts when he nicks himself with a knife he had just been using. “Shit.” He rinses the blade, along with his finger, before stirring the chicken into the soup he was making for Atsumu. 

“Atsumu.” He calls out to his brother, waiting for an answer. The house remains silent, aside from the sound of the stove. Osamu sighs, turning it off and pouring spoonfuls of soup into a bowl. He feels his phone vibrate in his pocket as he carries the bowl upstairs. He pulls his phone out, reading the message on his home screen.

> **From: Aran**
> 
> _Hey, heard you and Atsumu have a couple tests coming up. Wanna study together?_
> 
> **From: You**
> 
> _I’ll ask Atsumu. I’ll let you know what’s up after._

Osamu puts his phone back in his pocket, knocking on Atsumu’s door. “Come in..” Osamu opens the door, closing it behind him as he enters the room. “I made you some soup.” He sets the bowl on Atsumu’s nightstand. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” He sways on his heels for a moment, waiting for Atsumu to move from his spot on the bed. He steps closer, holding his hand out. “Hey. Aran wants to know if you’re down to study at his place after school.” Atsumu slumps over, running a hand through his hair as he looks up at Osamu. The bags under his eyes are enough for Osamu to already know the answer. “I’m not… feeling too good right now. ‘M sorry.” 

Osamu cups Atsumu’s face, rubbing his thumbs across his cheeks. “Don’t push yourself, ‘Tsumu.” He rests the back of his hand against Atsumu’s forehead, frowning when he feels the heat radiating from his skin. “And don’t forget to let Sakamoto-san in, okay?”

“Yeah..”

“Alright. I gotta get going now. I’ll see you after school, ‘Tsumu.” He pulls Atsumu closer, giving him a loose hug and kissing his head. “See you later, ‘Samu.”

_“Be safe, okay?”_

O O O O O O

“Hey. Atsumu didn’t come today?”

“No. He wasn’t feeling well.”

“Damn. I hope he’s not doing too bad.”

“Me too. He looked like shit when I checked on him this morning.”

“Would it be okay if I came over tomorrow? I just want to make sure he’s doing okay.”

“Yeah. I think he’d like that.” Osamu glances at his phone, sighing as he stares at the clock. “Shit. I have a presentation today.” He huffs quietly, putting his phone away and slinging his bag over his shoulder. “I’ll see you at practice today, Kita.” He waves goodbye to Kita, making his way towards his classroom. He steps into the room, glancing around at his classmates as they break off into pairs. “Fuck.” Atsumu was supposed to be his partner. He sits at his desk, resting his head on the surface. “Hey, Osamu? Did Atsumu not come today?”

“He’s sick.”

“Oh, damn. Good luck, then.”

“Yeah. Thanks.” His stomach drops as he watches the teacher walk in. “Okay, settle down, everyone. We’ll be starting our presentations today. Miya? Did your brother not come to school today?” He shrinks into himself, leaning on his hand. “No, sensei.”

“Oh, I see. I suppose you’ll have to present by yourself, then.” Osamu stands, approaching the front of the class. “My name is Miya Osamu. My partner is Miya Atsumu, and-” He flinches at the vibration in his pocket, fumbling for his phone. “I’m sorry, I have to take this real quick.” He steps out into the hallway, holding the phone to his ear. “Hello?”

“Is this Miya Osamu?”  
  


“Yes.”

“Hi, this is one of Atsumu’s nurses, Nurse Takamaki, I’m calling to let you know that he collapsed earlier this morning. Your neighbor found him unconscious in the living room and was unable to contact your mother, and we were informed that you were his emergency contact number.” He stands there in silence for a moment or two, watching the floor as the world blurs around him. “I see. Thank you for informing me. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” 

He hangs up, leaning against the wall and holding himself in a tight embrace as he slides downwards. The world is practically crashing down around him as he covers his ears and sobs. “This isn’t fair! This isn’t fucking fair!” His eyes shoot open as a hand rests itself on his knee. “Osamu?”

“I’m sorry.. It’s Atsumu.” Suna couches in front of him, hand still resting on his knee. “Talk to me about it?” Osamu rubs at his eyes, sniffling quietly. “The nurse said he collapsed. He’s in the hospital right now.”

“I see. Are you going to see him?”

“I’m leaving in a bit.”

“Should I go with you?”

“No. Just let everyone know why I’m not at practice today.”

“You got it. Say hi to Atsumu for me.” Suna pats his knee, standing up and continuing down the hall. Osamu stands as well, rubbing his eyes again and opening the door to his classroom. “I apologize, Sensei. I have to leave, it’s an emergency. I’ll give my presentation tomorrow.” He grabs his bag, exiting the building and standing at the nearest bus stop.

The bus ride to the hospital feels like hours, and Osamu finds himself chewing his nails as he stares out the window. He rises to his feet as the bus stops, stepping off the vehicle and approaching the front desk. “I’m here to see Miya Atsumu.”

“Alright, and what’s your name?”

“Miya Osamu.” The lady at the desk hands him a visitor sticker with his name on it, gesturing to an elevator behind him. “Rom 329. He is currently in a stable condition and there doesn’t appear to be any sign of head trauma. Just be quiet when you go in.” Osamu thanks her quietly, approaching the elevator and applying the sticker to his shirt.

O O O O O O

He steps out of the elevator as it reaches the third floor, reading the signs on the wall and following them to Atsumu’s room. He takes a deep breath, pushing the door open and stepping in. “‘Samu? That you?”

“Yes, ‘Tsumu, it’s me. Are you doing okay?”

The sight is almost unbearable for Osamu to look at. The wires protruding from Atsumu’s body were disturbing to view, and his skin seemed sickeningly pale. “Eh. I’ve seen better days. Doctors say they wanna run some tests. Too bad I didn’t study.” Osamu can’t help the laugh that escapes him. “Not that kind of test, ‘Tsumu.”

“Yeah, I know. Bottom line, I’ll be outta here in a few days, so don’t worry about me.” Osamu cups Atsumu’s face in both hands, rubbing his thumbs across his cheeks. “Okay. But you better help me with our presentation when you get back.” Atsumu slumps his shoulders, leaning into Osamu’s hands. “Aw, man. Do I have to?”

“Yes. There is no way I’m presenting it alone.”

“Fine. But you owe me.”

“Owe you what, exactly?”

“How about some onigiri?”

“I can do that. I’ll see you tomorrow after school, then.”

“Sounds like a plan. See ya, ‘Samu.” Osamu places a kiss on his brother’s head, ruffling his hair and heading towards the door. “Suna says hello, by the way.”

“Tell him I’m gonna kick his ass for stealing my pen the other day.”

“Will do. See ya tomorrow, ‘Tsumu.”

O O O O O O

Osamu rolls out of bed, groaning as his feet hit the floor. He takes his phone off the charger and makes his way downstairs. He crouches down in front of the cabinets, scratching his head as he scavenges for something to eat. His phone vibrates in his pocket, and he stands to answer it. “Hello?” His voice is clouded with sleep, and he covers his mouth as he yawns. “Is this Miya Osamu?”

“Yes.” 

“This is Nurse Takamaki again, I’m calling about Atsumu’s test results.”

“Lay it on me.”

The line goes dead after just two words.

_“It’s terminal.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> love  
> 1\. an intense feeling of deep affection.


	2. Eccedentesiast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'd hate to see you so distraught over something that never mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !! CONTENT WARNING : in another life references up ahead !!
> 
> official playlist : https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3pjAmVQlN2eAwF2VMeOpke

“Terminal?” 

Osamu repeats the word to an empty house, tears forming in his eyes as he stares at the floor in disbelief. “Terminal.” He looks down at his phone, turning it on and off as if the flashing of the screen would wake him.

It doesn’t. Because this isn’t some twisted nightmare. He’s finally crushed under the realization that this is real life, and that his twin brother, his other half, really is going to die, and that there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it.

He should call their mom; he knows he should. But he can’t even bring himself to get up off the kitchen floor where he’d crumbled at the feet of the cold, cruel universe. “Atsumu…” He drops his phone on the tile, letting it slide away from him as he presses his palms to the floor and slowly curls in on himself. His phone vibrates somewhere far off, and Osamu makes no move to reach for it. Instead, he sits there, letting the tears spill from the faucets in his eyes and onto the cold kitchen tile. 

O O O O O O

Miya Osamu doesn’t cry. Maybe he did when he was a child, but those days are long behind him. Those were days of innocence and fragility. But Miya Osamu cries now. He’s on the phone with his mother, telling her the news that she had ignored the first time. He hears her voice break as she tries to keep herself steady on her feet; hears her excusing herself to colleagues and supervisors as she works her way down to the building’s lobby and out to her car. 

There’s a weak “go ahead without me, I’ll meet you there” before the call is over, and Osamu isn’t sure if he can even stand thinking about going to the hospital right now. He looks down at his phone, reading the message from earlier that morning. 

**From: Kita**

_ Where are you? _

He turns his phone off, not ready to answer his captain’s message yet. Not until he himself has fully grasped the situation. He puts his keys in his pocket, making his way to the hospital in silence. He goes through the same process as yesterday, putting the visitor sticker on his chest and making his way to the elevator. His phone vibrates again in his pocket, urging him to check it. He takes his phone out, tearing up at the messages on the screen. 

**From: Suna**

_ What’s going on? Why aren’t you at school? _

**From: Aran**

_ Where are you? It’s almost time for class. _

**From: Kita**

_ Osamu, why aren’t you answering me? _

The elevator stops on Atsumu’s floor, and Osamu forces himself down the hallway. “Bokuto, your room isn’t on this floor.” Osamu brings himself to look behind him, heart aching when his gaze lands upon two people, roughly the same age as him. “Akaashi! Look! He’s like you!” The taller of the two abruptly points at Osamu, causing the other to grab his arm and lower it. “Bokuto, don’t point at people.”

“But Akaashi, he looks so much like you! Look!” 

“Bokuto” approaches him, leaning close and tilting his head. “He looks nothing like me. Bokuto, back up, it’s rude to be in someone’s personal space like that. I’m sorry, I would say he isn’t usually like this, but he is.”

“Ah.. It’s fine. I’ll be going now, so..” Osamu turns to leave, wincing as Bokuto grabs his hand. “Where are you going? Are you sick too?” 

“No! Leave me alone!” The hallway is silent as Bokuto brings his hands to his chest. The other steps forward, pushing Bokuto back as he presses a finger to Osamu’s chest. “I don’t know who you think you are, but if you  _ ever _ speak to him like that again, you can say goodbye to your vocal chords.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that wanting to visit my dying brother without being disturbed was such a crime. And if you threaten me again, I’m calling the authorities.”

Bokuto slaps his hands over his mouth, gasping loudly as he stares at Osamu. “I’m… very sorry to hear that. I apologize for my outburst, it was entirely uncalled for on my part. I was unaware of your situation, and I shouldn’t have lashed out the way I did. Please, tell your brother I wish the best for him. Come on, Bokuto. Let’s go back to your room.” The two of them make their way towards the elevator, Bokuto waving goodbye to Osamu as they walk away. 

Osamu takes a moment to calm himself, continuing down the hall to Atsumu’s room. He lightly knocks on the door, stepping inside as Atsumu turns his head to look at him. “Hey! What’s up, ‘Samu? Why aren’t ya at school?”

“Don’t fucking play dumb with me, ‘Tsumu.” Atsumu’s expression fades into something less energized, giving way to the circles under his eyes and the dull, lifeless look on his face. “So ya do know. Guess there’s no point hiding it from ya, then.”

“So what’s the result?”

“Ah.. something about my lung. Adenocarcinoma, I think? And then… something about “my card eye is”? I didn’t hear exactly what it was. And then the anemia, but we’ve known about that since we were ten. Nothing new there.” Osamu takes a seat in the chair beside Atsumu’s bed, folding his hands in his lap as he tries to process what’s been said. 

“How are ya feeling?”

“Been better. Can’t sleep, but when have I ever been able to sleep? Have ya told anyone?”

“Just mom. I’m not sure I can handle telling anyone else right now.”

“You should at least tell Aran. He deserves to know how I’m doing.” Osamu looks down at his phone, tapping the screen to bring it to life. “Yeah.. Maybe I’ll tell him in a bit. I think it’s best if it’s just you, me, and mom right now, though.”

“Yeah, I get ya. It’ll be nice to get to see you and mom before it gets crowded around here.” A knock at the door startles the both of them, and Atsumu is suddenly swarmed with attention. “Oh, my sweet baby ‘Tsumu.. I’m so sorry, sweetheart. Mama’s here now, it’s okay.”

“Mom.. I’m okay, don’t worry about me.” Osamu isn’t sure why Atsumu keeps trying. The three of them know he’s ill, there’s no point in hiding it anymore. He pats her back a couple times, pulling away to prompt her to let go of him. She releases him hesitantly, cupping his face and peppering his forehead with kisses. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

“It ain’t your fault, ma. Shit happens sometimes, ya know?” 

“Just because shit happens, doesn’t mean we can’t feel bad about it.”

“That’s just like you, ‘Samu. Always shutting me down even as I take my final, dying breath.”

“Why are you treating this like a joke?” Atsumu remains silent, looking off to the side and staring out the window. “You two should get going. Can’t have ya skipping out on your responsibilities because of me.” Their mother looks between them, sighing quietly as she adjusts herself and relaxes. “I’ll be in the hallway when you’re ready to go, Osamu.” She steps out of the room, holding her purse close to her chest. 

Osamu stares down at Atsumu, annoyed by how he’s dealing with his life like it’s just some game. “Ya really wanna know, huh? That’s just like you.” He sighs, turning back to Osamu with tears staining his cheeks. “I’m scared, ‘Samu.” 

“I’m scared too, ‘Tsumu.” Osamu carefully takes a seat on the edge of Atsumu’s hospital bed, putting a hand on his cheek and rubbing the tears away with his thumb. “We’ll just have to take this one step at a time, like we always have.”

“But what if one step isn’t enough? I don’t wanna die, ‘Samu.”

“You won’t die, Atsumu.”

“Don’t give me that shit. We both know what terminal means.” 

Osamu isn’t sure how to react anymore. He hasn’t seen his brother this dejected since he was first told he couldn’t play volleyball. He brings his other hand up to cup Atsumu’s bare cheek, sighing as he stares at him. “I know. It’s not easy to come to terms with, especially at such a young age. But I believe the doctors will heal you. You will get better,” he rubs his cheeks with his thumbs, smiling down at him. “I promise.” 

“You promise?”

“I promise.” He rests his head on Atsumu’s shoulder, closing his eyes and continuing to rub at his cheeks. “You tired or something?”

“A little bit. Didn’t sleep very well last night.”

“Get some rest, then.” 

“Speak for yourself, you look like shit.” Atsumu huffs in annoyance and rolls over, careful not to bother the IV in his hand. “What’s with that? I thought IVs were only for people who couldn’t consume food and water naturally.”

“I gave them a hard time taking some medication so they just put it in my arm instead. It’s uncomfortable, but it ain’t painful.” 

“Only you would give the doctors a hard time over something that was good for you.” Osamu grabs Atsumu’s hand, holding it up and examining his fingers. They’re smaller than Osamu’s; not noticeably, but there’s definitely some space between them. “Ya tryna hit on me or something?” Osamu rolls his eyes, dropping his hand. 

“Nah, just seein’ how big your hands are. They're kinda small.” 

“Your hands are just freakishly large, I don’t wanna hear it.” He watches Atsumu’s hands, noticing the shaking in his fingers. “You should get some sleep, ‘Tsumu. I’ll see ya later.” 

“Leaving already?”

“I’ll send the team a message if you want them to visit.”

“Please. I haven’t seen them in so long.” 

“Alright.” He stands up, ruffling Atsumu’s hair and smiling down at him. “We’ll see ya after practice.”

O O O O O O

“Atsumu is still in the hospital? What for?” 

“I thought they said he could leave yesterday.”

“No, it’s uh.. Actually, it’s..” Osamu isn’t sure he can find the words to say it. He takes a deep breath and composes himself, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Atsumu’s health is at its worst. The doctors said at this rate, he won’t.. Have much time left. He asked if we could visit him after practice.”

“Of course. It wouldn’t be very polite to ditch him now, not when he’s practically on his deathbed.”

“Thanks. I think.. I think it means a lot to him that you guys are willing to visit him. He really wanted to play volleyball when he was younger, and I think we’re the closest he can get.” Kita looks off to the side, grabbing his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. “Why don’t we go now?”

“What? Practice isn’t over yet.”

“I think Atsumu’s happiness is more important than practice right now. Besides, it’s not like we have a game coming up anytime soon. I think it’ll be fun to visit him all together.”

Osamu blinks, watching his team pack their bags and put their phones in their pockets. “I don’t have money for the bus ride, so you’ll have to go without me. Tell him I said hello, though.” 

“Gotcha. See you tomorrow, Ginjima.” Kita waves goodbye, walking towards the gym doors and calling for Osamu to hurry up. Osamu grabs his bag, catching up with them as he smiles to himself.

O O O O O O

“Back so soon? Did I really nap for that long?” Atsumu’s voice is clouded with sleep, and he rubs at his eyes as the team tries to fit into the already cramped hospital room. “We didn’t go to practice today. We came to see you.” Kita sets his bag down, unzipping it and handing Atsumu a snack. “Here. Take better care of yourself, Miya. We care about you.” Atsumu takes the pocky from KIta’s hands, holding it in front of him. “Thank you. It’s been a while since I’ve had pocky.” He opens the packaging, taking a stick out and chomping down on it. “Mm. What flavor is this? Double berry? Damn, this is good.” He takes another bite, smiling as he chews on it. “Why do you all look so drained? Quit looking at me like I’m dying!”

“You  _ are _ dying, Atsumu.” Atsumu’s expression drops, and he turns his head to look out the window. “I see. In that case, I suppose your faces are acceptable. Still, that doesn’t mean ya gotta look at me like that!” Atsumu continues to stuff his mouth with pocky, completely ignoring the situation he’s in. “You’re an idiot, you know?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“You’re sitting here acting like this is some joke while the rest of us are trying to grasp the harsh reality that you really are going to die. That’s really inconsiderate.” 

“Well, nobody asked you to come, Suna.”

“You literally asked me to come see you. I don’t know why you’re getting an attitude with me, Atsumu.”

“Lower your voices, both of you. This is a hospital.”

“You know what? Just leave me alone, all of you.” Atsumu rolls over, tucking the pocky under himself and closing his eyes. “Oh.. See you some other time, then.”

“Not you.” Atsumu points blindly, trying to pinpoint Aran’s voice. “Me?”

“You. Don’t go anywhere. You too, ‘Samu. The rest of you can get out. The door’s that way.” He points again, missing the door entirely. The rest of the team shuffles out of the room, going their own separate ways and conversing among themselves. “What was that about? You  _ asked  _ me to bring the team.” Atsumu rolls over again, staring at the ceiling. “I’m sorry.. I got nervous. It felt like Suna was upset with me and I didn’t know how else to respond. And.. maybe if I push everyone away, it won’t hurt them as much when I go.”

“It’ll hurt either way. You’re hurting yourself now.”

“That might be true, Aran, but why does it matter how I feel if I won’t feel anything soon? I’m just trying to spare everyone at least a little bit of pain.” Aran pulls a chair up to Atsumu’s bed, sitting down and putting his hand next to his. “I’d hate to spoil your vision, but you’re not sparing anyone anything..” He stands up again, putting the chair back in its place and heading towards the door. “Is that so? How unfortunate.” Osamu watches as the tears spill out of Atsumu’s eyes and down his cheeks. A smile tugs at his lips, forcing his mouth to curve upwards. “‘Samu. Can ya do me a favor?”

Osamu rushes to Atsumu’s side, holding his hand close to his chest as he rubs the tears away, frowning. “Anything, ‘Tsumu.”

“Smile when I’m gone. I’d hate to see you so distraught over something that never mattered.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eccedentesiast  
> 1\. one who fakes a smile


End file.
